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(Pastor) Montell Jordan No Longer Shakes His Groove Thang; He Shakes “Heaven”

Written by The IPS in Blogs on Jul 3, 11

I got nothing.

I had heard rumors and rumblings that Montell Jordan had become a man of the cloth, but I never really cared to dig and find out. I’m more than happy being a heathen with my “This Is How We Do It” ringtone, and his forays into Gospel falsetto land with his appearance on the “Fighting Temptations” soundtrack.

Then someone tweeted this track and I just about turned it to VH1 Soul in hopes that they would play the cleansing song that is “Get It On Tonight”. But alas.

Apparently yes, Montell is a Pastor. And yes, he has switched over to the Gospel side. And yes, he still is trying to be sexy…but now it’s for Jesus. Well alright!

I can’t really say what I think about this track — it’s a mix of CCM lyrics with an attempt at a radio-ready beat for today’s hit stations, with lots of bright lights, bad dancing, and faux-secular posturing. Montell takes lead, and even has a cleverly thrown in remembrance to his past life amongst the lyrics. Get into Jesus and get into Montell and get saved. Or not?
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Tags:flashback, gospel, i can't, music videos, what in the world
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I’m Going To Need A Box Of Calgon To “Take Me Away”, Far From Keyshia’s Live Performances…

Written by The IPS in Blogs on Jan 20, 11

Ya’ll know my general disdain for Keyshia Cole. This is a well documented fact. How she keeps getting these chances to perform live and blowing them, I will never know. Maybe Frankie is pulling some strings with her newfound celebrity power since she’s on VH1 in “Celebrity Rehab”. PLEASE TELL ME. I know 50-11 singers right now off the top of my head that could MOP the floor with Keyshia’s songs. I just DON’T get it.

I digress. I’m seeing more and more that Keyshia barely has a mid-range and if she isn’t belting she can barely deliver. Her performance was a spotty mess of relying on the backing tracks, being out of breath, being flat, 1/2 way doing the choreography, and all around just looking unprofessional and unacceptable for a platinum selling artist.

We all know this most recent album of hers isn’t one of the albums that went platinum. Sad part is, this was my first time hearing this song, and it wasn’t half bad.
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Tags:i can't, keyshia cole, live performances, sat down
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Another Dance: The Dougie + A Wheelchair = The Cat Daddy. Thank Me Later.

Written by The IPS in Videos on Dec 14, 10

Yeah, so, it’s been a while since I’ve posted a dance that is gaining steam somewhere, right? OK, here’s one called “The Cat Daddy”, and the dance looks like a mix between the Dougie, and something that you’d see at an old folks home.

Chris Brown apparently co-signs, so it shouldn’t take this one too long to sweep across the nation.

But these dudes The Rej3ctz, and their love of Spongebob and tight jeans….something is just a little off to me. And the second one that raps — please pass him a Halls. I’ve never heard of them and I don’t care to even look it up, but yeah, I was bored and someone emailed this to me. I got another video I’mma post for ya’ll too….you ain’t ready.

I still believe the children are the future. Teach them well, and let them lead the way?
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Tags:another dance, chris brown, i can't, make it stop, music videos, tomfoolery
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Diddy-Dirty Money Pull Their Greyhound Bus Into The French Cafe In Harlem on SNL

Written by The IPS in Blogs on Dec 6, 10

Diddy-Dirty Money performed the songs “Coming Home” and “Ass On The Floor” from their upcoming album Last Train To Paris, due out December 14th, on Saturday Night Live this past weekend.

Like I said on Twitter, basically, this was a mess. DO I EVEN REALLY NEED TO SAY ANYTHING!? LOL.

The background singers were dancing harder than the background dancers! Dawn, poor thing, I think she prolly gets 2x the rate that Kaleena does under the table, cause she does ALL the heavy lifting. Kaleena looks like someone Diddy was keeping in the basement as a replacement for one of the girls from Total if they ever got back together. Diddy himself looks and sounds a clown, and his lyrics are as likeable as the IRS knocking on your door after you win the $500 Powerball.

I don’t like these songs, and I need Swizz Beatz to get saved for real and maybe take some classical training, cause I’m tired of his repetitiveness. I’m tired of Diddy’s smoke machine. I’m tired of stupid songs and people making albums for tax writeoffs. I’m tired of Bad Boy Records being a ponzi scheme for Diddy’s paying of his Sean John models — Cassie and Nelly. I’m just TIRED like Kelly Price!

It was almost funny as Diddy tweeting something about “cirok” — I mean, you are the spokesperson for the company, and you can’t spell it right?! UGH!!

Check out “Ass On The Floor” (I mean, REALLY!?) after the jump….

Continue Reading…
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Tags:diddy, dirty money, i can't, live performances, make it stop
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Thursday Tomfoolery: 50 Tyson Hits The Big Time With “Don’t Know How To Dougie”; I Hit The Floor.

Written by The IPS in Videos on Nov 18, 10

Yes, you are seeing this. This is a real video. As in, someone signed this child, put him in the studio, and then put him in front of a REAL camera to shoot a video. I had to blink twice myself!

Special Olympics Theme 2011, because clearly he has no issues with looking a mess. A sad, sad mess.

BUT HOL’ UP!? How Antoine Dodson get on the BET Hip-Hop Awards and 50 Tyson didn’t!? I think 50 Tyson should drop a diss record LOL.

I don’t know what’s worse, the girls agreeing to be on this song with him, or their verses.

And he knows how to Diddi? Diddy? Diddle? Cat in the Fiddle!? That dance he is doing just looks like the Water Sprinkler on a -0 degrees day in Canada, but….OK.

I just cannot and will not and shan’t and won’t ever and I’m signing off of life right after the end of this sentence!
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Tags:hip hop is dead, i can't, let's stop and think about this, music videos, really?
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The Kang of R&B Bobby Brown And The…Stewardess (?) of R&B Macy Gray Record A Duet…

Written by The IPS in Videos on Oct 7, 10

The best thing about this video is seeing Bobby Brown in a suit.

The best thing about this song is whoever is singing backup vocals (they are singing!! And that ain’t just Macy!).

After that, I’m just a little speechless. LOL, cause there is so much that I want to say and could say but I just can’t formulate complete sentences at this moment.

Macy Gray’s latest CD The Sellout never hit my desk, but that first single she put out was kind of catchy in its own Macy Gray way. This song really isn’t TERRIBLE per se, just…off putting. And if you need something else to convince you to watch it, Michael Jai White introduces them and then, THEY ARE OUTTAKES AT THE END. Yes, you get to see these two folks act like their normal crackheads-but-not-really-but-used-to-be selves!
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Tags:bobby brown, i can't, macy gray, music videos, what!?
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Jon B. Needs To Read My “Body Language” As I Look For The ‘X’ In My Window…

Written by The IPS in Videos on Oct 6, 10

Jon.

Jon B.

NO!

This song w/ all this auto-tune and just…you looking past your expiration date…

Aside from the fact that you are calling your album Comfortable Swagg (strike 1), you are really trying to be “young”. That’s not what the people want. And you should always wear a hat (strike 2). Lastly, please just fire whoever shot/directed/produced this iChat video with that MS Paint font (strike 3). I was rooting for you, but this right here…

This. Right Here. Is Your. BAD!
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Tags:fail, i can't, jon b., music videos, really?
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I Got To Talk About This New Sean Garrett Song “She Geeked”…

Written by The IPS in Videos on Aug 9, 10
If Cash Money Records has money to waste like this and this, then they can toss me some chips cause I got to start paying for this medical school education…I’m just saying. For real.

Someone on Twtitter sent me this, because they know I’m not a fan of Sean Garrett’s vocals. Dude is like the Athlete’s Foot that you can’t get rid of. Somehow he keeps getting solo deals, so maybe I’m the one missing it. I’m just gonna copy my tweets and leave it at that.
- Sean Garrett has a face for radio, a voice for Kidz Bop, and a body for 24 Hour Fitness commercials. #chooseonecarefully
- Sean Garrett is a good fit on Cash Money. Birdman can’t rap, and he can’t sing. It’s all FTW over there! http://bit.ly/akJU87
The beat is kinda hot, and Gucci Mane is Gucci so whatever, but this Tyga dude — I can’t rock with him ever since he said “Valentimes” on Chris Brown’s “Dueces”. I mean, REALLY. VALENTIMES! I get mad every time I think about it!

He got more money than me, so I guess. Whatever. “She Geeked” that you got stacks cause otherwise, “she’d leave”…LOL.
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Tags:give up the ghost, i can't, music videos, sat down, sean garrett, why?
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Drake & Jimmy Kimmel “Tweet Tweet” Their Way Onto The Charts…

Written by The IPS in Blogs on Jul 5, 10

This is HILARIOUS.

Jimmy Kimmel and that “accent” and Drake wearing that doo-rag? That just sent off fireworks in my MIND HAHAHA.
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Tags:drake, i can't, random videos
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H-Town Is Doing Too Much “Knockin” And Not Enough Harmonizing…

Written by The IPS in Blogs on Jun 21, 10

Just FFWD to about 33:28 and prepare to do a wallslide on the wall of your choice.

H-Town (along with a terrible looking Jodeci) a while ago released a new song called “Knockin’ Your Heels Off”, and the world gave a collective *sigh* and *gasp* at the state of their looks and voices. Well, last week Mo’Nique, in her quest to raise all these Lazarus’s of 80′s and 90′s R&B music, had H-Town on to sing (minus the deceased member of course).

Well, the only thing that that H-Town needs to “knock” is IT — as in, KNOCK IT OFF. Period!

The dancing, the vocals, the juicy Wet ‘N Wild curls…OH MAN, I just lol’ed so hard! God bless.

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Tags:i can't, let it go already, live performances, sat down
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