I just KNEW that when Jennifer Lopez fell at the AMA’s performing “Louboutins” that we finally were going to be rid of the scourge that is her voice. Oh, but no. Her team smartened up and acquiesced to the American Idol producers and got her in, making her relevant to the mainstream again without even really trying. She’s gone from lowkey MIA, struggling to keep her music career afloat, to the hottest thing on the block again. New spokeswoman deals, new hit single — just a rejuvenated J. Lo.

So of course her new song “On The Floor” has shot up the charts, and we get a video. The song is a tepid exercise in autotune and pandering to the current status of mainstream radio, and it’s one that I will be happy to not ever have to hear again. Now, don’t get me wrong, I watched the clip in 1080i because J. Lo is STILL fine, but I muted it.

Pitbull is the collaborator of choice these days for these techo-esque club pop songs, and he once again makes an appearance. It’s not important anything he is saying. Matter of fact, strip all the vocals and you could just dance to this absentmindedly.

And J. Lo, you’re 41, married, with two twins at home. You ain’t gonna be on no one’s floor! Go home, sit down with a cup of chamomile, and call it a night. Thanks!

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