Wow, I had to watch this video to take it all in! It’s epic in imagination and execution, but not really in its elements and creativity. Go with me.

First of all, this video is VERY Tarantino-esque. I mean, HELLO, the “Pussy Wagon” from “Kill Bill” is up in the place to be! I was just expecting Solange to get a cameo wearing an eye-patch with Baby Daniel strapped to her back high-kicking Lady GaGa’s mayo bottle out of her hand. LOL. Or…Vivica Fox.

That being said, Lady GaGa is EPIC and has fully embraced the powers of the Illuminati. Ole girl is naked, kissing womens, WEARING GLASSES THAT ARE MADE OF SMOKING CIGARETTES, I mean, the list goes ON and ON. What DIDN’T she cram into this 9.5 minute video?

Beyonce‘ plays her character, but yet and still, home girl is about as exciting as the yellow paint on the Pussy Wagon. Where GaGa is just naturally a huge presence, Beyonce’s duet and performance comes off as 2nd rate to GaGa’s. Sure, she’s not the star, but in something of this epic of a proportion, you need to carry your weight. I don’t feel Beyonce’ does that.

Tyrese makes a cameo as one of the many people murdered, and GaGa goes from riding and wearing a church hat to making sandwiches to getting pleasured by a Virgin Mobile phone.

We walk away from this video knowing that A) GaGa does NOT have a penis (thanks for clearing that up!), B) Beyonce’ really is just not a good “actress”, C) The Pussy Wagon is awesome, D) All the “kids” will be searching for those glasses, E) GaGa is sponsored by the Illuminati, F) This song goes harder to me now that I’ve seen the video, G) Beyonce’ choreo seemed a tad 2nd behind, H) GaGa is one of the next icons of this generation I) Madonna needs to not put out new music anytime because her old career has been reincarnated through GaGa, J) promo placements/partnerships are the new record label deal and K) THIS VIDEO IS EPIC, GEIGH, OVER THE TOP, and just everything that GaGa wanted to give to her fans and that they expected.

She’s gonna sell another 2 million downloads, watch.