Mariah Carey fell in Singapore. Either she is pregnant, or she is realllllly big. I hope she’s pregnant. And even more importantly, WHY IS EVERYONE HOLLERING!? Backgrounds…wow. And Mimi talked the whole time….

• I hear Keri Hilson and Ciara are getting into it again lowkey about them being compared to each other. Keri, well, Ciara, I’m sorry — Ciara WRITES her songs. You just have perfected the art of making that a** pop. So, no matter what happens, I think you still lose. Cause one day that a** gone drop, pop a blood vessel, and you won’t be able to get it back up again Matrix-style. Keri, even if her voicebox is blown out in a freak studio accident still will be making money from her songwriting! Sat down.
• Fantasia almost killed herself, got more press, and still, her album has yet to cross the 200K mark yet. I’m going to say that unless she gets pregnant by old dude and get his name tattooed on her forehead for good measure, she won’t be making platinum anytime soon.
• Faith Evans’ new video is STILL terrible ya’ll. I’m sorry, I tried to watch it again, and them praise dancers just make want to cry. Remember when Faith was chubby and was in a roller skating rink for the “Love Like This Before” video? I’d almost rather have that all over again.
• This Nelly “Just A Dream” video is really letting me know that Nelly’s time has passed. Where is Murphy Lee and that dude that wore the half-hockey-mask thing? They need to remake “Humpty Dumpty” or some other asinine nursery rhyme so we don’t have to hear Katy Perry anymore. At least it’d be catchier than…wow, who’s the latest hot pop-rapper? Flo-Rida is somewhere ripping up all the “Brandy & Flo-Rida 4 Ever” pictures he scribbled on his “Right Round” royalty statements…
• Brandy is on “Dancing With The Stars” which I don’t watch, right? Right. All I want Brandy to do is dancerie herself Mary J. Blige style into a studio booth, make up with Rodney Jerkins, call Keith Crouch and Rahsaan Patterson, and make some music. Girl, you went from “America’s Got Talent” to “Dancing With The Stars” and all we got left with is Nick Cannon and Monica belting for her last little bit of vocal life with that Deniece Williams cover. Save us!
• Lil’ Wayne has a new album coming out this week. It’s called I’m Not A Human Being. YES, WE KNOW. You’re a Martian, an alien, the Pussy Monster, etc. You should have called it I’m Not A Free Man and GAVE it out for free. How is he recording music and releasing it and profiting on it? Isn’t there some law against this? Where is Judge Judy when you need her?
• Did ya’ll hear about this Rick Ross sex tape? There’s nothing I want to see less on this Earth than Rick Ross porking it up with some poor groupie. Literally. Rickay, please work to get a Ricky MARTIN body before you start flaunting what the good/bad God gave you. I’d rather look directly into the sun…
• The Diplomats are reuniting. So does that mean hi-speed sampling is going to come back into favor and popularity? And…who are the rest of the Diplomats besides Jim Jones and Cam’ron? Maybe that’s me being a West Coast dude, but if they ain’t helping to clean up the oil spill or brokering peace in the Middle East, I veto this wholeheartedly!
• Kanye West released another song on G.O.O.D. Friday called “So Appalled”. It’s alright — I think I am just MORE happy to hear a track WITHOUT Charlie Wilson! I mean, is Nate Dogg still not up and moving about? Didn’t Ronald Isley just get out of jail? Is Stevie Wonder on sabbatical from life? Who drug up Charlie Wilson? He only sounds good with Snoop and Justin Timberlake – duh.
• Are we EVER going to see the video for Alicia Keys’ and Beyonce’s “Put It In A Love Song”? Or did Mashonda hack into Alicia’s email and delete that ish forever? Maybe that is the one good thing Mashonda has done in her life…
• Chris Brown has a new song called “Yeah”. I think I am just gonna move to Europe anyway since all of OUR R&B artists are stealing the sound. I bet something ELSE is popular in Europe by now…Chris Brown’s comeback is heavily anticipated. I get it, but…not really. All that aside, this song is him angling for another Doublemint commercial. THAT was the beginning of the end!
• Is anyone REALLY going to BUY these new R. Kelly CD’s?! Inquiring minds and small children of the female persuasion the world over want to know.
• Tonex’ AKA B. Slade has a really dope song that I like right now, “Going Away”. What I REALLY want is CNN to bring HIM on as a pundit or something in this whole Eddie Long debacle…

That’s all I got right now. Feel free to weigh in, disagree, vent, or whatever. Just some random thoughts for ya!

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