Alicia Keys sings CONSISTENTLY under the note. Like, this woman is always slightly flat and it just MURDERS my eardrums. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she came out with that Just For Me brown hair color and I just automatically gave her the side-eye. Then she started singing and I just had kick her while she was down(pitch). Please pass her a Guide to Lip-Syncing because I’d rather see her dance and look thick and good then ruin my visual daydreams with that voice. I just can’t.

“Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart” was pretty bad, then “Empire State of Mind Part II” was slightly better, but then she cracked at the beginning of “No One” and OMG, she just…I can’t!!!!

As far as Shakira goes, just do what I do — mute it! ROFL, however, Shakira is FINE. Even though I always crack up at her busting out with the Step/Drill Team routine, “Give It Up To Me” actually has a nice beat. Instrumental please! Shakira is so fine though, I’d watch her peel and cut potatoes. NO lie. “She Wolf” scares me slightly LOL.

Usher has officially lost his crown, because this mess? That Breastplate of Foolishness that he has on?! I cannot! The notes were everywhere, and the dance moves just seemed a little strained and forced. I think Usher has just checked out and is doing music for the check now. The only thing I liked was the track to that 2nd track he danced to. But overall, his music is crap now, and even “Yeah” sounds SUPER dated.

If Alicia Keys and Usher are our representatives for this generation’s legends…ohhhhh buddy. We in trouble.